So I have been trying to focus on my goals for a long time and obviously failing to concentrate every single day. I am not surprised given that it’s been very hard to accept life in the past year. I didn’t know that running for my career and education would leave me so energy-less that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything. For the longest time in life, I felt very very tired and lots of thoughts went through my mind.
In some ways, I no longer know what kind of person I am or where I am. It’s all too confusing. I went through the collection of the articles I had written over the past few years in an attempt to launch my website but the ideas in them seemed so far away from me that I was surprised to know that I was the one who wrote them. I do not feel like going back to Facebook either; at one time it was so hard to get rid of it and when I let it go, I never wanted it back. Not surprised as that has always been my style anyways.
Somehow I feel stuck in a moment of time and unable to move forward. If I could just shut my mind, put it in a corner and ignore it completely, I will be able to focus on what’s in front of me. But I think I lost myself in what could’ve been and what should be. I am beginning to move forward and it has never been more difficult.
So, for a while, there might not be a girl who ends every sentence with laughter like she used to when she was crazy talking about k-drama characters. She might just be a lil’ bit lost and she might need some time to get back to herself and say that’s me.