Whenever I feel confused in life, I go to the library and start typing. It takes a lot of effort to get out of your office chair and into your life one. I wasn’t going to go out on lunch today. But then i realized I’ll be caught in this web of work with things flying in my head from every direction about what I still have to do. I would never be able to solve any of it because I am waiting on others but it would keep me worried. I am not having as much fun because i am typing on the phone. The computers were busy. But what got me out of the chair today was the fact that I ate lots of fruity things today. 2 to be exact. I may have done that any other day too. But today I wanted to record it. I wanted to be able to say I have spent a day in which I ate a lot of fruits. Fruits are important to me. They are sweet but much better than baked goods. Eating them makes you a sweeter person, my mother used to say. And I believe it too. So I feel pretty sweet today. I ate a greek yogurt with mango in it and had an apple for lunch. An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
I am recording these things because I have started a self-love project to pay more attention to taking care of myself. Every day, I have to record what nice thing I did for myself that day. This weekend I did a lot of nice things.
- I bought myself flowers after a long time and put them right beside my bed so I can see them
- I shaped my eyebrows
- I went to the folk festival and danced
- I made myself food including roti
- I slept a lot because I love sleeping
More importantly, I watched myself be mesmerized by lil things like a bubble of soap bursting on my hand twice in the festival, the dangling of pendulum like things on someone’s pants, the children dancing like crazy, the life slowly revealing itself to me after a long time. Sometimes things can just take over your life and all you can do is think about them. At that time nothing else seems to catch your attention. It’s important to create space. Space can only enter when matters resolve themselves. I have been trying to resolve them for a long time. And for now (however long that may be), they seem resolved. So in the space that I have right now, I want to do nice things for myself and make myself feel loved. Who knows what will happen tomorrow. It is unpredictable. Might as well make the best of the time I have.
Ish Kish Mish