Why are you running away from your pain?

For a very long time, I have not written down and wrote for the larger public. I have been writing continuously for myself these days in hopes of sharing that with the rest of the world one day. I have dedicated a year to let my writing make me completely miserable and it is doing it’s job very nicely so far. When thoughts of dying come back to you, you know it’s working. The past is grabbing you by its ankles and it is not letting you go. And that is why we avoid it. We hide it and try…

Continue reading

You have to dream before your dreams can come true – APJ Abdul Kalam

It’s April 14, 2018 today. It’s also Baisakhi. The day Khalsa was formed. When we were young, we would go to the temple at 5am and take a bath in the holy waters of the sarovar. In Canada, there are no temples with a sarovar. Even if they existed, it would probably be frozen at this time and taking bath in it would be like taking bath at the sarovar in Hemkunt Sahib. LOL! Cold and frozen. By April, usually the temperatures really warm up in India so it’s not that bad. The only issue with me is that ritual…

Continue reading

My relationship with God

As an Indian, we are born with a great gift: the understanding that God exists. It is not something that is questioned like in the western world. It is simply an understanding we have. Until I came to Canada, I had never heard of the term ‘atheist’. Upon finding out about it I was kind of shocked. The fact that a human could exist without understanding of God puzzled me. I had never heard of anyone who did not believe in God. People around me always thanked God for their existence and everything they had in life. There are even…

Continue reading

My Meditation Series – Youtube Videos

Hey everyone, I hope you all are doing well. February is almost coming to a close (I know!!!). The good news is that I have began working on my video making goal already and have started a new series on Meditation. The focus of this series is to document my journey of meditation and how I change as a result of it. It is intended for all those who are either thinking about meditating or are in progress. Meditation has been a life-changing practice for me and I want to share this journey with others. I am sure that someone…

Continue reading

How 2018 is going so far

Hey there followers! I haven’t written something for a while. In fact, January has passed already and it is Feb 2 today. Winter is almost over. Maybe another 2 months or so and that’s it. I am feeling much better. A large part of it had to do with not being happy in my job anymore and something shifted in my mind last month that made me realize that it’s not really that bad. For my current circumstances, it’s perfect. I can’t have a stressful job right now because my mind gets overly active about things and starts worrying. I…

Continue reading

2018 – A year of video making

I was thinking of spending my Sunday evening the usual way: watching Netflix. But then I realized I should probably do something productive. These days I have been spending my time dreaming (my 2018 vision). Ideas are flooding into my head and quite honestly, I am not doing a good job of writing them down. Content-wise I think I want to focus a lot more on my videos now. I started a YouTube channel a few years ago but I haven’t done anything too consistently on it. I post a video once a month on what’s been making me smile…

Continue reading

Being in disconnect with people around you

I was caught up in something. I forgot to focus on my main focus in life: moving forward. I was caught in thoughts such as “life sucks, ” I can’t do this anymore”, etc etc. Recently, it’s been feeling like no one wants to understand me. What people want is more important to them rather than how I am feeling. And I realize this is how you end up in a life full of shit, where people just walk alongside you with no idea of what’s going on in your head. They don’t care what emotional trouble you are going…

Continue reading

Speaking up

I don’t know why some things are so hard. All I can say is that they are. But I think that all we can do is try and see what happens. If we never try, we don’t know what the outcome might be. If we want any say in the outcome at all, we must give it some effort. I am not a very expressive person. I can hold onto many things that I actually should have said out loud. And because those things stay in my head for a long time, when they come out, they are usually not…

Continue reading

Life is changing

I have been a bit on the edge today. It’s weird. I tried to write this on my Facebook but I felt more comfortable writing out my feelings on my blog rather than Facebook. I feel much more safer here even though this is a platform much less private than Facebook. I think I may not want all the people I know to know what I am going through. I don’t want anyone’s attention. I just want to feel comfortable sharing who I am and my blog is the only place I feel comfortable doing that. I tried the volunteering.…

Continue reading

Boosting the energy in my life

It’s at least been a month since I decided to hit the gym after work for half an hour and pump some motivation into my life. A month ago I was feeling so beaten by life and work that I wanted to do everything to get away from it all. I couldn’t bear anything in my life anymore and I wished that I could just escape to somewhere. Instead of making the stupid mistake of leaving everything behind, I told myself I couldn’t sit and feel sorry for myself. I had to do something to prevent me from feeling like…

Continue reading