There's a longing in our hearts that takes us to places. It takes us to our dreams. Somehow, someday, our heart rips through our thoughts, our mind and stands out in a way that's impossible to avoid. Because quite honestly, it's been quiet for way too long. We have been ignoring it for way too long. The heart guides us to our purpose - the reason we were brought into this world. There's a power in our heart that cannot be defied; it shakes us to our very core, hitting our thoughts like hail hitting the trees and shedding them in the process. There's a power in our heart, a truth that can never be hidden or ignored and the longer it sits there, the more powerful it becomes.
In shaking off these layers and accepting them, I have realized something…. It is the purpose of my life. The purpose of my life, I realized, is to be a flower. To be that one thing in the world that exudes laughter and love. In listening to my heart, I have realized that the only thing real in any moment of my life - is laughter. The only moment real is the one in which we unstoppably burst into laughter and spread seeds of it into the wind to be taken far far away, into the parts of the world we may never be able to touch or see.
But laughter is not constant. The winds can change direction and flowers can wilt. What once looked beautiful can now be completely dead. The heart can tremble yet once again at the loss of the ones we once loved with all of our hearts. With their beauty, we survive. In their beauty, we thrive. Perhaps they are still beautiful, we just need to remember. When they have lost their vision, we need to be their eyes. We need to remember them for who they are and who they can be. Goodbye is temporary. For in this lifetime, they will blossom all over again. This is the life of a flower and the life I am meant to live.
Hence, with broken sentences and unfinished books, my message to the world is simple:
Live like a flower.
When it's time to wilt, wilt. When it's time to bloom, bloom. Live like a flower and bring with yourself a laughter that will rip through the sky and spread with the wind like an irresistible desire.
Keep smiling like flowers,
Ish Kish Mish
July 27, 2015, 8:17 PM, Regina, SK, Canada
It took me a really long time to realize that in this life I was a very special person. In my own life and in others'. I was a person who entered your life and never left. Someone you could never afford to be fake in front of because I always saw right through you. I saw right through the million layers you had built around yourself and made you come face-to-face with your reality. From that you wanted to escape and bullshit me over and over again. But then again, I saw right through you. In front of me, there was absolutely no escape. In front of me, you had to show who you really were and let yourself be vulnerable because the only you who could meet me was the person you really were, not the person you were trying to be. Sometimes it took months, sometimes years, sometimes even a lifetime, but that was ok. If you had met me and were part of my life, some day you understood. That you'd have to throw away all the crap about who you think you are supposed to be and let yourself be who you really are. With me, you were just you. That was the power of my presence in your life.
Written on Aug 15, 2012.
A excerpt from the reflections after the first meeting with the Sea in Dominican Republic, Aug 2012.
I have learned a few things from うみ (the sea):
- Just like the sea, you cannot see life’s end so don’t try guessing. Cherish every moment in front of you and get on the boat. Live life as if it is endless. That way, you will live longer than you have lived – in people’s hearts.
- The abundance of the sea can show you everything, your weaknesses, strengths, depending on what your mind is thinking. At times it was calming, other times, frustrating. I sat on the beach watching the waves for a long time and thinking about random things. It wasn’t very comforting. I remember I used to go to Lake Ontario during the weekend when I used to live in Toronto. The water somehow calmed my heart. I thought it would have the same effect here too. It didn’t. It felt like 10* Lake Ontario had made a club and ganged up on me and ran over me, not even taking me with it. And I was sitting there, helpless. It frustrated me to the very core. SO I decided to take my time with it. I walked along the shore. Does the feeling change? Most of the time, it just made me feel confused. It is something I still haven’t understood properly.
- One of my favorite things to do with the water was play with it like a child. In fact, not even like a child. Children were swimming far distances, jumping up n down in water, not building sand castles. lol So I wrote. I wrote on the wet sand. I wrote a lot. Atleast an hour a day. The challenge was to finish writing before the water comes and clears it all away. I practiced Japanese on it. One time, I wrote , ”Dear sea, I am Ishwinder.” (ウ身や、私はイしわあんだあです。). I like the fact I was competing with the water and it almost always won. Now that I think about it, the sea represented one special person, a person who always accepts you as you are. Someone who can listen to everything that’s bothering you and just hold you in his arms. The sea was amazing at listening (although too impatient). You could probably tell it any of your secrets and life would still be alright. In that way, we were sort of like friends.
- And lastly and most importantly, I learned that the sea will show u your state of mind, all wide open, in front of the whole wide world.