Recently, I went through a small heart-attack situation. Suddenly, I found my credit card not working at the grocery store. I came home thinking may be I just forgot to pay my bill and they temporarily de-activated it. I checked my account and found a very expensive transaction made through my credit card the day before. The card had been in my purse all the time and was still in my hand but clearly, someone in this world had used it somehow. I was blown away. How could thousands of dollars be charge to my account when the card is right in my hand? I called the credit card company right away and the “huge call volumes” message only scared me more and more. Finally, I got to speak with someone and they closed my account right away to prevent further misuse. It was all under control.
At this point, I am thinking,
“How could this have happened to me? I use my credit card quite safely.
How could someone have used it?
Were any of my passwords too weak to hack into? Should I change them all?
Were the customer records stolen from any of the companies I had shopped at?
Had I not disposed of a bill properly?
May be it’s due to using the credit card out of the country?
May be I should change all my credit cards every 1 or 2 years just to be safe? Who knows when someone is going to steal what. If the credit card is no longer valid, nothing can be done with the number they have managed to steal.
I hadn’t even bought anything recently from the company this transaction was made from, how could this be?”
As I was panicking and allowing this cloud of fear to develop over my life, I realized I needed to walk out of this cloud. The sooner, the better. So after talking to my family, I went to the live concert that was happening in downtown. It was almost dark but I decided I’d stay there for just an hour, come back and go to sleep.
It took about an hour to stop thinking about it all. As I started noticing people drinking, dancing and enjoying the weather, I realized I needed to do the same. I needed to be in the moment. I have never really understood a word in a concert but you know what, I can hear the music and if I want to, I can either feel it rushing through my body or be frustrated with the fact that I can’t understand anything. As I sat down in a corner focusing on the music and moving with it, I could feel it become my heart beat. A weight was lifted. I could no longer think about anything else. In my heart, body and mind was no longer any fear, but excitement, comfort and love. That is what I needed. People were coming and going and two hours later, I was still there. I met an old man who asked me whether I like the music and I said yes. He said, “Me too. I love it too.” with so much excitement that it made me smile. With every song sung, I heard him say, “thank you” to the performers. It was a wonderful evening. With wonderful people smiling and dancing in whatever way they can, I found comfort in the music that I never cared to relate to. Being in the moment….I had finally understood what it means. It means to throw away your thoughts and give your all to every single moment. I call that night, “Drunk on Your Music.” Thank you, performers and organizers. 🙂
Love is forever,
Ish Kish Mish